Have you ever been stuck in a lane on a highway while traveling? For some of us, this can be frustrating.
Sometimes we get stuck in a “lane” in life. You know, the “my way or the highway” mentality. Just like driving on a highway, sometimes switching lanes in life is a good thing. It can help you get where you want to go, faster and easier.
My Lane Is the Right Lane!
Some of us were raised in a way that seems good to us, so we stay in this lane for life. The other side of this coin is the person who was raised in a way they see as wrong. You know, the person who grows up saying, “When I’m 18, I’m gonna …” (Or, if you were like me, you didn’t even wait until you were 18.) So you get in a different lane because you disagree with the life lane your parents or someone else raised you in, or possibly even forced you to live within.
The problem is that, either way, we can get stuck in a lane for life. And, many times, when we do this, we aren’t willing to ask questions and we surely aren’t willing to consider someone else’s lane of life. After all, “My lane is the right lane!”
For years, I had determined my lane of life. I had the answers, I had the perspective, I knew what I knew about life and I was right. It was my way or you could get on a different highway. But then something happened, something changed. I started asking questions. I started listening to other people’s thoughts, perspectives and beliefs. Because I was willing to do this, my life was changed.
Switching Lanes
In 2005, Kyle Jr. and I traveled to Lake Gaston, VA, for a fishing tournament. We pulled into Americamps on our first day of practice. As usual, Kyle slept for most of the ride. Once we arrived, I woke him up and we started to prepare the boat.
Kyle informed me that he had to run to the bathroom, so I pointed off in the distance and told him I would be here when he got back. After I got the boat ready to put in, I decided that I had better hit the bathroom too. So I headed that way and, as I rounded the corner, there was Kyle Jr., puffing away on a cigarette.
I quickly backed up; he was facing the other way and didn’t see me. I remember thinking, “How could this kid be smoking when he knows I had a heart attack less than two years ago?” I was also thinking about how mad I was that he was smoking! But I thought about things before I reacted (this was new to me but it had to do with this new way of life that we were seeking and what I had learned thus far), and decided not to say anything.
I waited for him to leave and then proceeded to the bathroom. On my walk back, I called Chris and told her what I had learned. I told her that I was going to wait and not say anything until I got back after the tournament and talked with some friends for advice. Three days of keeping it in … needless to say, it was hard. But I did it and when I returned home, I started asking friends what they thought I should do.
Driving in a New Lane
As you can imagine, I got lots of different advice, but one friend told me something so far out there that I thought, “Why not?” It was totally out of my lane of life.
I picked Kyle up from school every day and drove him home. On one particular day, I swung into a gas station and told him I needed to run in to grab something. Just as I was getting out of the car, I hit the button to roll down the passenger’s side window. I went in and purchased a pack of Marlboro Reds (that was the brand he smoked) and when I walked out, I threw the pack into the side window and it landed on Kyle’s lap. I said, “I know you’re smoking, son, so why don’t you get out and have a cigarette while we talk?” You should have seen the look on his face. He was in shock.
I had to encourage him to light up but, eventually, he did. And we talked. As I type this, I have tears streaming down my face. This was one of the best talks I ever had with my son. Now, I know some of you reading this might not agree with what I did, and that’s OK. But before this I was in a lane for life. I knew what was best for everyone and I had all the answers, so I thought. I’ve since realized that the life lane I was in wasn’t a lane for life. It was a lane to unhappiness, to frustration, to pushing people away rather than pulling them in.
By holding back and asking for advice, I had switched lanes. During this talk, Kyle and I switched lanes together. We found a new life lane in that parking lot, on that sidewalk.
Is It Time?
Don’t get stuck in a lane for life! Start asking questions and listen to what others have to say. You just might find that switching lanes can be a good thing.
Either way, may God bless you and guide you as you travel your life lane!
Have a great week.
