Last time, I shared the 10 Things I Quit That Have Made a Huge Difference in My Life. For the next few weeks, I want to dive into the first bullet point:
- I quit trying to change people and accepted it was me that needed to change.
What I Said Next …
It was evening time around 9:30 p.m. or so and I was in my bedroom, watching TV. Kyle Jr. knocked on the door and slowly cracked it and peeked in. He said, “Dad, can I talk to you?”
“Sure, son, come on in.” I sat up and signaled for him to grab a seat at the foot of the bed. I figured he was going to ask for money; after all, how often does a seventeen-year-old visit mom and dad’s bedroom? Anyway, he sat down and started to fumble his words.
“Dad, I … Dad, I need to talk to you. Dad …” He was wringing his hands and I quickly knew this was something he was very nervous about. Finally, I said, “Son, spit it out!” He blurted out, “Andrea’s pregnant!”
My first thought was, “What you say next really matters.”
I asked him, “How do you feel about this, son?” He said, “I’m really nervous and scared.” I said, “I understand, so was I.” (You see, we had to tell our parents we were pregnant when I was 15 years old). I then asked Kyle another question: “How else do you feel about this, son?” He said, “I’m kind of excited.” I said, “I understand, so was I.”
Then I asked him a third question: “So what are you going to do?” He said, “Well Dad, I’m going to ask you for a job and try to be a good dad like you.”
A few short months later, Kyle Jr. was killed in a car accident. He never met his daughter. I cherish the memories my response made!
Finding the Power to Change
I recently heard something through my studies. A person is like fruit juice. When we squeeze an orange, we get orange juice; when we squeeze a lemon, we get lemon juice. When a person is squeezed, what’s inside comes out. Many times, we are squeezed in the difficult moments of our lives.
I need to say that my response to my son, Kyle, was so different than my reaction would have been a few years earlier. So what changed in me?
I’m a guy that likes practical application, things I can do quickly to help me change. Let’s face it, the things I need to change are normally hard to change. I’ve been me for a long time!
I hope you will consider visiting again next week when I share the 3 P’s, a powerful tool that my mentor gave me that was a huge part of my change. My hope is that one day you will share a story, and the title might be, “What I Said Next Really Made a Difference!”
Go out and make it a change week!
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