Last week, I focused on point #1 of the 10 Things I Quit That Have Made a Huge Difference in My Life.
- I quit trying to change people and accepted it was me that needed to change.
Years ago, I was way more reactive than I am about things today. Now if you really knew me, you might say, “How?” I can still be pretty reactive if I’m not careful. I can still do a lot of damage quickly with my words if I don’t remember “What you say next really matters” and continue to practice what I have learned.
Notice I said “practice”; I don’t always get it right. As a matter of fact, if you knew how much I get it wrong, you may not listen to these videos.
OK, now that we know I’m still a mess, let’s get on with today’s story.
The Lesson
I talked with my mentor about my problem with reacting and making things worse with my words. He told me that when someone said something or I saw something that I didn’t like or that upset me, I needed to practice the 3P’s: Pause, Ponder and Pray. And I needed to do this before I commented, reacted or responded.
My first thought after he told me this was that I was never going to talk again because I would always be pausing, pondering and praying. Because there are a lot of things that upset me and a lot of things I didn’t like! Some of you may know what I mean.
Putting It Into Practice
It was one thing to know what he shared with me, but to be reminded of it in the moment was what I needed. So I wrote “Pause-Ponder-Pray” on a post-it note, stuck it to my bathroom mirror and read it aloud every day.
I also wrote it on a piece of paper and placed it in my front pants pocket. Every time I reached into my pocket, I would touch that piece of paper and it reminded me to pause, ponder and pray. It took some time but, eventually, this mantra was, as I like to say, “tattooed to my brain.”
This tool and lesson is the main reason I was able to respond to Kyle Jr. the way I did in my story last week.
A Note About Prayer
Now, let me say that no matter what you believe, you can pray. Please don’t get caught up in who you are praying to. When I was first told to start praying, years after the death of our first son, Joey, I remember saying, “I don’t talk to God. He killed my son.” My mentor at the time said, “Well, then don’t pray to God. Just pray …”
If you know me now, you know that my beliefs about God and my faith have changed over the years. But if you are in a season where you don’t want to talk to God or maybe you don’t believe in a God, my suggestion would be the same as my mentor’s: just pray.
Stay Tuned
I hope you will consider visiting again next week when I share another story about building and dynamite. This experience really made me think and helped me take my marriage and other relationships to the next level.
Go out and make it a change week! To learn more, please follow the Kyle Hoffman LLC Facebook page and subscribe to our YouTube channel. To start your journey, call Kyle Hoffman LLC at (703) 763-4107 or submit a contact request.
