Would you ever intentionally put a stone in your shoe and choose to walk in pain?
For the last several weeks, I’ve been sharing about the 10 Things I Quit That Have Made a Huge Difference in My Life. This week, I’m focusing on this point:
- I quit blaming other people for my problems.
One dictionary definition of a problem is “a matter or situation regarded as unwelcome or harmful and needing to be dealt with and overcome.” Read those words again: unwelcome, harmful, dealt with, overcome …
I spent decades living with my problems. I might have said they were unwelcome. I definitely spent a lot of time complaining about them. I’m not sure I would have admitted that some were harmful, but either way I lived with them and even invited some of them to stay.
It’s like having a stone in my shoe and not realizing that all I had to do is stop, take off the shoe, dump the stone, put the shoe back on and walk much more comfortably.
I know right about now, someone might be thinking, “It’s not that easy, Kyle.” I never said it was easy. But you have to dump the stone first before you can take the next step, without the stone.
The Stones
Using this analogy, some of the problems I walked with for years were:
- My father left when I was five, he said goodbye like any other day and didn’t come back
- My parents could have done a better job (blame the parents)
- I didn’t get the support I needed
- I don’t get the support I need
- My drinking problem
- My financial problems
- My marriage problems
- If my wife would just …
- If my children would just …
- If my co-worker would just …
- If my boss would just …
- Business financial problems
- Employee problems
- Problems with my friends
And then there’s the really big stuff:
- My hard heart and bad attitude
- The school bus driver that hit and killed my son, Joey
- The young man who was driving the car that killed my son, Kyle Jr.
- The breast cancer that my wife was diagnosed with in 2015
- The treatment and side effects she had to go through, and still deals with daily
- And more … there’s a lot more …
Fact is, there have been people, places and things that have affected me and created problems in my life. Some within my control, some out of my control. If I choose to, I could spend my whole life focused on the problems and blaming. But when I do this, it’s like adding another stone to my shoe instead of removing a stone. Before you know it, my shoe is full of stones and I am walking in full-blown pain.
A Choice to Make
We all have a choice to deal with and overcome the problems in our lives, or not. John Maxwell says that some people have trouble making decisions and others have trouble keeping their decisions. I am so thankful that we made and keep our decision to trust God and, with his help, overcome our problems of the past and of today.
Today, I refuse to put a stone in my shoe!
Looking Ahead
I hope you will consider visiting again next week, where I will continue to share stories and lessons that have had a huge impact on my life. I share in hope of having a positive impact on others. I will share a story titled “Broken Heart: ‘Shattered in a Million Pieces.’”
Go out and make it a change week!
